River’s World

February 12, 2018

 

Life with a 5 year old GIRL! Let me tell you it’s no joke. I knew I was in for it the moment the doc said it was a girl. I was so excited, I already had two boys so this pregnancy for me was going to be completely different. Let’s start with how we decided on her name. Typically when people hear the name River they think it’s for a boy. I always loved the idea of giving a girl a “boys” name although I feel like River is more gender neutral. My husband and I had a list of maybe 3 names, we were at about month 7 or 8 and I just had to go to LA for the Christian Louboutin shoe signing at Saks.... of course right? Well I get there and damn near pass out, probably dehydrated, exhausted, PREGNANT! So obviously I get to the front of the line right away I’m sweaty, out of breath, about to pop, wearing 6 inch heels meeting Mr. Christian Louboutin. Can you imagine?......I told him how much I loved his shoes, he asked me what I was naming the baby, I read off my short list telling him I wasn’t sure which name to pick, and that’s when he said he loved the name River! Ding ding ding we had a winner! I was so excited I remember calling my husband and him saying that was the name he loved so it was perfect! What a way to get your name right? And I have a beautiful pair of signed spiked 7 inch Louboutin stilettos to give her when she’s old enough to appreciate them.
 

Fast forward to now, River also known as River doll is a 5 year old mini version of me. I mean sometimes I have to remember she’s only 5. Not just saying this because she my daughter but she’s so smart and speaks with an amazing vocabulary. River has a personality and style that is truly unique she’s a natural born leader and watching her be an individual has made me so extremely proud. Just to give you an example when most little girls want to dress up as princesses for Halloween mine always wants to be a super hero! I heard that hunny 💁🏻‍♀️ My goal is to ensure that she never loses that confidence and individuality. I didn’t even realize how much I was affecting it until I started seeing her worry about her hair. Over a year ago I had some clip in extensions on my bathroom counter, River came in asking to put them on. I told her no, that she didn’t need them because she already had beautiful hair. Her response was “but my hair is short and curly I want it to be long and straight like you”. Man that was a wake up call...what was I teaching her? I didn’t realize my weaves were showing my daughter that I didn’t like my hair so she was starting to not like hers. Well that was my last weave it’s been a year now I cut my hair and have been rocking the natural with my girl. Ok not always natural, I don’t use any blow dryers or straighteners on her hair so I had to explain that those are big girl tools mommy only uses sometimes. I won’t lie I miss my weave 😩. For River’s hair I use Cantu leave in conditioner, or Palmer’s coconut hair smoothie. They are both great for detangling and keeping her curls moisturized.
 

This past year River started Kindergarten, in private school. I will be honest I never had any intentions of sending my children to private school. Against my better judgement and honestly even my husbands I listened to some of the other parents in our community and enrolled them. I quickly learned that was a mistake, I am not knocking anyone for sending their child to private school if it works for you great but in our case it was not the best choice. I’ll begin with cost obviously private school tuition isn’t cheap, I did not go in expecting it to be, so that was not the issue. All of the other cost however, did not sit well with me. It was expressed to me during River’s enrollment process that the school was really big on allowing kids to be creative through art, science, theatre etc. River loves to dress up, act out her favorite shows, sing, dance you name it so I was on board. When I got the audition form for the school play I was shocked to see the price list just to participate. I understand these schools need help with funding for certain activities but charging parents $200 for your child to have lines in the school play just seems ridiculous. Along with that I did not feel like my children were being challenged. For almost 5 months my son was being sent home with the exact same homework everyday, where’s the challenge? His assignment was to see how much of a math worksheet he could complete in a minute, well after a few weeks of that obviously he was finishing the entire sheet within the minute, at this point he was just being sent home with busy work.
 

All in all my kids were just not happy. My son was having problems with kids being mean to him, it was a constant competition of who had what or was going where with who. River was waking up not wanting to wear her uniform or to even go to school. After talking to a couple other moms who could relate, and researching to find a good school I made the decision to switch them to public school. Immediately within the first week I knew I had made the right decision. River gets up everyday now happy to go to school. She’s made a lot of friends but I think being able to pick her clothes everyday and be expressive that way is good for her, she is MY daughter after all. As far as my son Max he also made friends right away, so far no issues with mean kids, but he has been finding homework a lot more challenging. No more of the same math problems he’s doing a variety of different assignments that are forcing him to think and problem solve.
 

As parents it’s easy to fall into the peer pressure of what other parents are doing, especially as a young parent. I have learned you have to trust you’re own instincts and do what you know is best for your child.

As always thanks for reading.
Xoxo
Pashana


The Look
River likes to feel like a big girl but it’s important to me to keep her looking like a little girl, especially since she’s so tall. Dresses and skirts are somewhat of a challenge because the size that fits her waist is usually too short. Luckily for me she’s ok with pants as long as they’re “girly”.

Top: Crazy 8
Bottoms: Crazy 8
Shoes: Vans
Backpack: H&M  

 

 

 

 

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